The President of the Blue Springs School Board, Bobby Hawk, Groomed Me

My name is Isabelle Davis, but I go by Izzy. When I was 10 my family moved churches to attend EPIC where Bobby Hawk was the lead pastor. He seemed to take an immediate liking to me, I thought I was special. He would go out of his way to spend time with me, finding me after church to talk and inviting me out to eat with his family. He would always do magic tricks for the congregation; he showed me how to do them and emphasized that I’m the only one who knows and that I cannot tell anyone else. He called me his little buddy. I thought he saw potential in me, I thought I was special.

When I was in 5th grade, I was allowed to join the youth group even though it was supposed to be for middle school (6th grade) and up. I thought it was because I was mature for my age, that’s what I was always told. When I was 12, they formed a leadership team for the youth group. It consisted of my sister, 15, her friend Grace, 15, and me, 12, with Bobby and the youth pastor, Jason Flood, overseeing it. We had meetings to brainstorm ideas for youth and had extra responsibilities for before, during, and after the service. As a “reward” for all our hard work, they would have us over for sleepovers at their houses. In the past they were at Jason Flood’s house with his wife Becky always present. We would get snacks and drinks and get to stay up playing games and watching movies. This night was different, it was at Bobby’s house, and it was only him and Jason; Bobby’s wife remained upstairs with their daughter.

The sleepover started normal; Grace came from the Fall Fun Fest where she worked at Timmy Burgers. She brought some with her as Jason always talked about how much he loved them. We had a quick meeting, then the fun started. My sister, Grace, and I decided we wanted to try and stay up all night, so we got to work coming up with a plan. We would play games, watch a movie, then play some more games to wake us back up before the next movie. Bobby had games in his closet, but his basement had recently flooded so he was showing us what had survived. He took me to see all the materials for his magic tricks, I couldn’t explain why, but I felt uncomfortable in the back of the closet with him. I brushed it off and continued with the night. His daughter, 3ish at the time, came down and sang a Frozen song for us, then we started with the first movie.

Bobby suggested we watch The Prestige; he had been telling me for weeks that I should watch it since it’s a movie about two dueling magicians. I was excited, I had always loved movies and it seemed interesting. We sat down, Grace next to Jason, Bobby next to me, and my sister between Grace and I. Bobby sat closer to me than I was used to with adults, but I wasn’t concerned. Twenty minutes into the movie, Bobby grabs my hand, interlocks our fingers, and places our hands underneath his thigh. I immediately begin to feel sick. My heart races and I feel nauseous. I want to run, to scream, to cry. But I freeze, I can’t do anything. After ten minutes I came up with a plan, I would get up to go to the bathroom, I thought he must’ve also felt uncomfortable and wouldn’t do it again. So, I get up, walk straight across from the couch to the bathroom, shut the door, and stand there. I still felt sick, but relieved. I waited for as long as possible, not wanting to go back out and face him. I flushed the empty toilet, washed my hands, and went back to sit down. It must be over, I told myself. Without hesitation, as I sat down, he grabbed my hand and put it right back under his thigh. My heart dropped. I couldn’t use the bathroom excuse again, so I was stuck. We stayed like that for the rest of the movie. It felt never ending- I could feel every heartbeat and every choked breath. When it finally ended, I got up immediately. He pulled me to the side, told me that “we weren’t doing anything wrong” but the reason he was hiding it was because people would “think things”. I shook my head, did anything to get out of the conversation so that it would finally all be over. I do not remember the rest of that night.

I didn’t tell anyone for 10 years. I would tell myself that it was nothing, that he saw me as a daughter- but he already had a daughter. I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone, that I was just being dramatic, he only held my hand, nothing even happened. So instead, I just distanced myself from him, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I started to be nauseous in his presence, everything he did annoyed me and made me uncomfortable. I began to hate him. I no longer thought I was special. I was very lucky that my response was aversion, my subconscious was protecting me. I separated myself from him so that I was never in that position with him again, I buried it, it was done.

Then, 6 years later he runs for the School Board of my school district and wins. I hated it but I couldn’t tell anyone why, so I stuffed it down. When I graduated high school, he pulled strings so that he could be the one handing me my diploma as I crossed the stage. I was sick, pulled right back to that night- on what was supposed to be a day to celebrate my achievements. I stuffed it back down. Three years later he was running for re-election. My parents had his campaign sign in our yard, they came home from church talking about how people were opposed to him on the board and how that was wrong. I couldn’t stuff it anymore. I told them what he did to me. I was lucky once again with how they responded, they believed me and said that what he did was incredibly wrong, they validated me. They immediately removed his sign from the yard and stopped attending his church. They didn’t tell him why because they wanted me to handle it my way and he was aggressive when they had tried to leave in the past, so they thought it was best to avoid it. Once he noticed they were missing he reached out, trying to have a conversation to convince them to return but they refused. I began to see a therapist and she was helping me come to terms with what happened and determine the next steps.

It’s been two years since I first said it out loud. Most days I can stuff it down, but anytime he gets brought up I begin to feel sick and my heart races. So, when I found out that he is now the President of my School Board, I decided it was time that my story was told. I cannot stand the idea of him being an integral factor in the futures of children just like me. He is up for re-election in April 2025, and I urge you to consider my story when it comes time if you are a Blue Springs voter.